Apr 26 2020
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Does it ever go away

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Does it ever go away. The feeling of needing to have a smoke. It sneaks into my mind and sits there testing me. All throughout the day and night I can still almost imagine the taste in my throat inhaling it deep into my body holding it there for a brief moment before exhaling out. It has so many memories attached. It was something I did ritually before I went out or did anything and was always the first thing I did as soon as I was back or finished. Today I am feeling a bit lazy as I have so much more time I would have been busy. Busy smoking that is. What an large amount of time I have used smoking so far in my life. So far over these last 2 weeks I have done so much sorting cleaning cooking and now I am running out of things to be done. Gone are the days of procrastination smoking. The smoking you do because you don't know where to start. Start at day one then do another. It is working for me so far. Slowly sorting myself out and the jobs that have been in the too hard basket with all this extra time in one day now. Time is what we always say we do not have enough of but all this time I have been smoking I have been creating less time for anything. Glad I have discovered this as it is another great reason to quit smoking. More time more freedom.

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Apr 26 2020
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2 weeks wahoo

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Have survived two weeks now...something i didn't think i would make 2 weeks ago and it seems to be this point that I am now getting a bit more titchy and short tempered although I have pretty much gone cold turkey on the nicotine gum so that might be why. My voice has gone a bit but I guess that there is to be some sort of throat changes etc happen

Over 5 years ago now my mum had a lung collapse followed by another months later. She had smoked for a good 30 years I would reckon. She spent a bit of time in hospital and the second time I remember watching as they put the tube through her side to reinflate her lung and her looking like she was in intense pain. She ended up having to lose half of her lung and today cannot walk far and has a lot of nerve pain. She is only in her 40s. I sit and wonder why this didnt give me the push those years ago to quit knowing that there is a possibility of that or worse happening to every smoker.

On Easter Sunday I woke up and went to the bathroom at around 3am and had a coughing fit which wasnt unusual...except this time I was certain there was a speck of blood in the phlegm I bought up. I repeatedly coughed looking for more and there was none to be found but I became terrified and ended up going to my pack of ciggies and being torn between ripping them up (were 6 left) or just going with the idea of what more damage can another 6 do. I ripped and tore them and couldnt sleep. I still dont know if there even was blood or my tired brain was just tricking me but it was certainly enough to make me end the smoking right then.

May of been naughty and splurged a bit on some new clothing and decent healthy food haha
Walked past the dairy a few times now and not one urge to go in...after lockdown I think i will purposely go in just to grab a paper and see what they say...its a small town and i think they saw me most days...i would walk in and they would instantly reach for my smokes!

Have been munching on peanuts to help me through the intense hunger urges the past couple of days. I dont think im hungry but my brain cant decipher what it wants!

Bring on the next two weeks!!



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Apr 26 2020
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Quitting today

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Quitting today. 3rd time I’ve tried this year. Hopefully this time works!

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Apr 25 2020
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Reason to stop

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Today as i srood at my letterbox at 6am looking at my neighbours doing the same I realised what I am doing is small. What my grandad endured and lived with for the rest of his life was huge. I can ensure that I take this stand against smoking knowing he stood so many days for the whole country and the unborn generations to follow. Without his strength I am nothing. I only wish I am half as resilient as him and his fellow unit men. It makes my personal battle so small and insignificant. Today I can say I still have not had a smoke and dedicate today Anzac day to my grandad and all the service men women and animals that have fought physical battles for us. Mine is with myself and I am gaining strength against my new enemy. Break free and survive.

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Apr 25 2020
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The old days

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I have told my children numerous times about how times have changed. Back when I was their age, there was smoking in movies, in offices and in schools.

I recall going to America and being in the non smoking section of the plane, a row behind the smoking section. Cough cough.

My parents smoked in the car with the windows up and at home. Clearly I’ve been smoking in one form or another all of my life.

There have been lots of movies from the 80s playing recently and it’s quite shocking to see the stars smoking in practically every scene. Every time I see it, I point it out to my kids to let them know just how acceptable, expected and normalised this addiction was. Heck, my mum was told to smoke during pregnancy!

Even though I myself smoked for over 20 years, and my kids grew up to see me smoking outside when it was freezing and still waiting second hand smoke in their direction, at least nearly 4 years on from my quit, they can see how far I have come.

They are very anti smoking and thankfully have the backbone to stand firm against friends who are convinced vaping is the next cool thing.

Sometimes we have to look at the past to understand where we are now.

I wish you all ever success and you continue moving forward. Please don’t say ‘I hope this quit sticks’. Change your mindset to ‘this quit WILL stick’. You’re driving your life now x

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Apr 25 2020
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Stats Update 1419 days smokefree

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Smokefree days: 1,419
Total savings: $76,626

Just checking in to see how everyone is going on this bittersweet day.

I’m so glad that I managed to kick the dreadful 20 year habit before lockdown happened. I know I smoked when bored or stressed so it would have been ridiculous. Ironically I also get asthma which was shameful when I smoked a pack a day and coughed my lungs up each morning.

If you have just started your journey, you can do this. One day at a time. I promise you won’t ever regret making this decision for life and freedom.

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Apr 25 2020
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Seven things I enjoy without a smoke

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It’s no secret to most of us that smoking is an addiction and it lies to us. Not ‘little white lies’ either - but really big porkers. I seriously did not believe I could ever quit smoking. That’s the truth. So as I journeyed on the smoke-free path I discovered a whole bunch of things, that contrary to my belief, I can actually do without a smoke.

1 - Coffee – yep. Coffee! It is possible to enjoy a cup of coffee without having a smoke. And guess what? Coffee has a taste, a really strong taste and a delightful aroma too! Oh and wait for it, yes you won’t believe this one, but now I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not even think of a smoke! That’s right you heard correctly. Be encouraged. It will get easier.

2 - Movies - I know you are all thinking ‘what is she on about?’ I lived rural and my local cinema, believe it or not, still has an ‘intermission’. While everyone else lined up to buy icecreams and snifters and jaffas, I had to have a smoke break. It went something like this. The curtains close for intermission and the buzzer goes and just like the races, I’m off, pushing and shoving, dodging and diving and sometimes even crawling on all fours through peoples legs, with my handbag around my neck, to get to the entrance faster. Why? Because I have just 4 minutes to race out of the theatre, down the stairs, rummage through my bag, find a lighter, light up and puff at a rate of 20 puffs per minute to get it finished, pop the peppermint, wipe my hands and race back up the stairs again. It was exhausting! How on earth I convinced myself that this routine ‘relieved stress’ I will never know. I shake my head in disbelief. Now I don’t even move out of my seat. It’s wonderful.

3 - Alcohol – refer to Number 1 and I’ll add that I can have a fabulous time to boot. I should point out that it doesn’t stop my looking foolish, tripping over ‘air holes’ and slurring my words if I imbibe too much, but at least I don’t come home smelling like a bushfire, with smoke holes in my clothes.

4 - Grocery Shopping - Yes I can go through the checkout without even thinking about a smoke. And to my delight, I no longer feel like smashing the checkout guy in the face. And sometimes I get a huge treat when someone purchases smokes in front of me. I love it when this happens, I can’t help myself, every time I ask innocently ‘how much do they cost now?’ Then I feign surprise, open my mouth wide and gasp loudly saying “Really Oh my goodness how do you afford that? I am so glad I quit when I did!

5 - First thing in the morning – This was huge for me. I was absolutely convinced I would not make it to the shower, let alone lunch without a smoke. I couldn’t even wait for coffee, my brain would semi-wake, send a message to my feet, who would then drag me outside, eyes still firmly closed in sleep, and I would wake up some time during that first smoke when the coughing began. It was pathetic! “Haha Nicodemon, I sometimes think of you while I remain snuggled up in bed on a winters morning. But it’s never with nostalgia. Nope. Its always with gratitude that I am no longer a slave to you” (insert loud raspberry here)

6 - Long trips - I have discovered, much to my relief that I will not die if I do not stop for smoke breaks, and not only is it not life threatening, but I get to my destination faster. Bonus! Oh and my car smells ever so sweet.

7 - After tea – My body can digest food fine without a smoke, it has enzymes to do that. And there is absolutely no danger involved it getting up after tea and doing the dishes straight away.

You will notice I didn’t put ‘swimming or bathing’ on my list. That’s because I never got the knack of smoking while swimming or bathing. For some reason my brain always got confused and I forgot to keep my hand above water. I gave it my best shot, but there is something very unromantic about a candle-lit bubble bath with soggy butts floating on top of the water

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Apr 24 2020
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Day 13

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Another day another bunch of savings!

Decided to cut back on the nicotine gum as realised my idea of chew chew chew rather than chew and park was giving me the sore throat and indigestion...not bad for someone that thought it was the most foul tasting stuff ever.
Bought normal supermarket gum which might cause me the nicotine withdrawals but hopefully it keeps my mouth busy long enough to not have any effect.

Went to the grocery shop today and coming out noticed (what appeared to be) so many smokers in the car park. One part of me thought gross it stinks and another part of me thought maybe I could go buy some and have just one. I find it incredible that after almost two weeks it’s still so ingrained in my brain that I flick to lets go have one and then have to realise I don’t do that anymore.
I also luckily know the downside to “just one” as my last attempt I was quit for 6 weeks and a girl I worked with offered me one (knowing full well I was quitting) and did the whole one won’t hurt...well that was a lie and a half.
Won’t be fooled into that thinking again as one leads down the great path of self destruction.
My resting pulse rate has dropped from an average of 100bpm when I used to check it obsessively to around 60bpm which is certainly another great benefit.

Sleep was a bit erratic last night so hopefully that was just a once off and I’m not going to go through the insomnia type stages!

Enjoy the long weekend (although for a lot of us the last 4 weeks have felt like one loooong weekend) and keep on working towards your goals 😊

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Apr 24 2020
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2 weeks in

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Well the end of today marks 14 days of not smoking. Actually started telling people outside my bubble now. Getting ready for being back out there and prewarning all my smoking buddies I am changing. Have had great reactions mostly positive so I am hoping they will continue in another 2 weeks when we can actually see each other. It is still very close to the surface the cravings but pass fast and I can now distract my brain quite successfully each time. Doing well in lockdown. Husband is still smoking as he "earned it" and so I am still avoiding my triggers around us smoking together. Truthfully just avoiding him and the smell he carries with him everywhere. I know I just have to stay strong and remember why I am giving up and it makes it all ok for now. Hope everyone has had a good day.

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Apr 24 2020
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Stats Update 200 days smokefree

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Smokefree days: 200
Total savings: $2,750

Wooohooo!! 200 days.

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