Dec 22 2019

Stats Update 34 days smokefree


Smokefree days: 34
Total savings: $986

Hey team,

Check those stats - especially the dollars. That's nuts! $1000/ mnth on Cigs. That's addiction for ya.

The last week I have been busy with Manflu - Hate feeling ill and as a Solo Dad, it hasn't been much fun for my son either :) I am lucky that his Mum and I have been focusing on teaching him compassion & resilience so not only is he a great cook, turns out he was a kind nurse too. Think in my delirious fever stage, I probably agreed to pay him for his services...

Anyway, went for my first run this morning and it felt awesome - all the clichés are true about being outdoors and exercise and how it impacts on your mental well being. You feel good, you are that much stronger to overcome this addiction.

Not a great fan of Christmas and all that it entails so we tend to get away from it all but due to my near death experience we have had to change plans but at least its not raining, I am out of my sick bed and I am smoke free .


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Dec 11 2019

Stats Update: 23 days smokefree


Smokefree days: 23
Total savings: $667

Morena QL crew.

Hope everyone doing Ok especially those close to the events at Whakaari.

All good in the hood. No cravings and caught up a smoker mate over the weekend. Not that long ago we would have been drinking the beers and chain smoking away. Not this time - he was good enough not smoke directly around me but I could so smell it on him. So a great result.

Meds continue to work and no cravings - did a 10K run on Rangitoto on Monday - that would not have happened 24 days ago and burning the calories and eating lots of healthy stuff - turns out salads aren't so bad :) So the weight continues to drop, so yeah - well pleased with where I am at.

Hope everyone is going well on their road to a healthier and happier life.


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Dec 5 2019

Day 17


Morena QL Buddies

Thanks for the comments. Thanks Mrs Smith - glad you find what I post helpful. It's more a journal for me but happy to share my story if it helps others.

Took a walk on the beach this morning. In my previous life I would get up, have 2 cigs, one after the other then head to the beach hoping I wouldn't bump into anyone because I reeked. The cigs also sapped my energy - physical & mental so I would walk the beach breathless and guilty.

Today my head was clear and I felt empowered and strolled down the beach with my head held high. I rocked. Know that sounds a bit OTT but for me this is what its all about - beating this addiction and all that comes with it for 30 years and walking away.....

Have a fab day guys.


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Dec 4 2019

Day 16


Morena QL Whanau.

Beautiful day here in Jafaland.

My son ( 11) and I listen to Spotify global top 50 streamed songs in the mornings ( me trying to be hip) I pretty much have no idea what the songs are but lately its been streaming Christmas songs that I have been singing along to with a spring in my step - he cringes , I grin - love not smoking.

Have a fab day

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Dec 3 2019

Day 15


Morena QL buddies.

Speaking of which - arranged to meet a new running buddy this morning through one of the FB running groups I have joined. She was lovely and very patient given she looked like she was on a stroll and I was gasping for air - would have looked funny for anyone passing.

Turns out I did the fastest time in ages and once I managed to recover, the endorphins kicked in and it felt awesome. Just goes to show the power of having a buddy to keep you focused and on course - just like you guys so thank you again for your encouragement.

Another day another $30 saved! I have decided that my first 100 days savings I am going to put in the 'F*&K it' piggy bank and spend it - no ifs or buts ( which for Mr Rational & Pragmatic here is a biggie) $3000 on what ever I want. Woohoo! I look at some of the stats of the people who I started this journey way back in 2010. The savings are incredible!

So first treat was a new pair of top shelf running shoes. Yeah I know, not exactly exciting but right now they are the equivalent of the ladies buying a pair of very fancy T2T's ( Taxi to Table). Who needs Santa when you can just stop smoking.

Anyhoo - all good in the hood - meds continue to be fab - absolutely no cravings. My trigger avoidance system working and my head is in a good space.

Have a fab day guys and hang in their newbies. Not really sure how many people are on the site these days but I have been treating this blog as my journal and have enjoyed sharing it.


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Dec 2 2019

Day 14


Time flies by when you are having fun :) Two weeks done and dusted....

Morena Quitline whanau. Thanks for your comments - Nice to hear from you again Clarence. Hard to believe we started so many years ago - Your stats are awesome:)

Time certainly has flown for my nieces & nephews - feels like only yesterday they were in car seats and prams - now they are sober drivers driving the boomers home after a fantastic family wedding.

I am delighted and proud to report that despite enjoying some of Marlborough's lovely wines and busting some great Uncle moves on the dancefloor, not once did I think having a cig (or 20) would finish a 'perfect' evening - as that's how my addiction would work on my brain a couple of weeks ago.

What did finish me off was the wine! What a hangover, and I still don't feel a hundy today - I did my hour of cardio this morning and I am convinced I was sweating wine:) So not a lot going to be achieved today - except my blog:)

As I have mentioned I have been a closet smoker (although my family have seen me smoke over the years) but I kept it very low key so I couldn't just shout out - off for a cig. Everything had to be thought out. Especially at family gatherings - secret areas scoped out, diversions put in place so I could sneak out when no one could see me - it was stressful and I felt guilty - especially in front of my nieces / nephews and most of all my son.

So for todays installment of things I have got back: Quality time with my family - just being able to sit back RELAX and listen to the next generation's stories and aspirations - without always thinking, 'I need a cig -when can I sneak away'

The only thing I will be doing today is sneaking away from my chores for a bit more hangover recovery:)

Have a good day everyone - especially to the newbies and the restarts :)


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Nov 28 2019

Day 10


Morena Quitline Whanau - Thanks for the supporting comments. Oh NanaTurtle - you have a way with words:)

Another day - another $30 Dollars added to my bank account and hopefully another 30 Days added back to my life:)

Have had a great couple of days and tonight my son and I head to Blenheim for the first wedding of the nieces / nephews. As most of them are in their late 20's / early 30's, we have all been waiting for a very long time.

Looking forward to showing the fitter and happier me.

And that's another thing I have gained back: Happiness/ Contentment. I have not liked myself when I was smoking, especially as I was hiding it from everyone so it felt like part of my life I was living one big lie. I knew I could do better. Its great to feel in a state of happiness /contentment rather than guilt / disappointment.

And now that's my biggest risk of starting again.

I know I have an addictive nature, I am grateful that I haven't tried anything else! Its taken this long to accept that and understand how my brain works and in the past - the addiction has tricked my mind to say - you are now happy & confident - you can enjoy a cig with that glass of wine - it's only going to be one..... FAIL.

So I know my journey is far from over. I am grateful for the meds that have completely shutdown the cravings but I also know I am just one cig away from throwing away all the stuff I write about in these blogs.

I am also grateful to have a place when I can write - probably all just blah blah for some but hopefully some of what I share will relate to others.

Have a great smoke free day - especially those who have just started their journey.


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Nov 25 2019

Stats Update 7 days smokefree


Smokefree days: 7
Total savings: $203

Woohoo. I am rich!

Morena Quitline Whanau

Great weekend - Feeling good, looking good, SMELLING good.

Things I am not missing about smoking. The smell. Being a closet smoker I was very aware of trying to hide the smell. Showering serval times a day, constantly changing clothes and covering myself in aftershave. I was an expert.

Yet I could still smell the stench on my fingers - the guilt / disappointment / shame of smoking - what ever you call it - would constantly follow. I could never get rid of it until now.

Spent some of the weekend doing a spring 'smoke' clean. It makes you feel really good. So looking forward to my power bill coming down now I don't have to so much laundry.

My fitness continues to improve as does my waistline. Doing the counting calories thing via an app called MYFIT. You start with a base line of calories you should consume for the day if you want to reduce weight. Add the calories you eat - you type in what you are eating and it works out the calories and deduct the calories you burn doing exercise and the weight starts to drop. 9Kg in 6 weeks. Result.

Hope everyone else hanging in there.


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Nov 22 2019

Day 5


Morena Whanau - Beautiful day here in Jafaland

Not really counting the days - in my head, realised that in the past it became a test of endurance like climbing a mountain. Problem in the past, I (my addictive mindset) was thinking that if I could reach a certain number of days / months / years I could stop for just one cig. Fail.

So rather than dwelling on the past or the anxiety around whether I will be able to reach 3 weeks / 3 months / 3 years. I have been telling myself that today you are a non smoker and that's how you live your life.

I have to say, the meds I am on have completely taken the cravings away. Its been a MASSIVE help.

I have just got back into ocean swimming with a mate and we set off just as the sun rises. Its pretty cool. For the last 5 weeks I have been really struggling with my breathing, and had to take plenty of breaks.

Today swam 1K without a break, and kept up with him. I was really proud of myself. As a closet smoker, he has no idea that I smoked. So he was surprised / impressed today - told him I was taking steriods ;)

So what I have gained back: A sense of pride in who I now am - and always wanted to be - a non smoker and living life to the full :)

Have a fab weekend whanau and for those who are planning to have their last cigs this weekend. Don't think you are giving up something, you are about to get back everything.


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Nov 21 2019

Day 4


Morena whanau,

Thanks for the posts - Hey NanaTurtle - lovely to hear from you and thanks for for the questions to consider - good times all those years ago with lots of great chat and support with awesome people. Seems a bit quieter now - either its like Facebook where everyone reads rather than posts or simply - everyone has successfully quit!

Yesterday I was up in the far north on a project around housing vulnerable people. LOTS of smokers and last time I visited, I was keeping up with them so this was going to be a big trigger. Yeah Nah. Sat outside with the crew and wasn't tempted. Result!

Ran 6k today in the fastest time I have done in 6 months and my heart rate has dropped significantly - well, until the last 1k when it shot through the roof.

So what am I NOT going to miss: The internal conflict. I am a pretty rational guy - smoking is completely irrational but because its an addiction - that goes out the window. I was conflicted each time I lit a cig and I was conflicted after. Completely did my head in.

Anyhoo - All good in the hood. But will take it one day at a time.

Have a great smoke free day - especially you guys who are starting out;


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