Kiaora whanau.. I haven't posted for a while.. I kept my distance due to my smoking habit, however I am now just at the start of 4 beautiful smoke free days.
I challenged myself with a 7 day I AM!!!
I am IMPORTANT
I am HOPE
I am DREAM
I am REALITY
I am BLISS
I am CONNECTED
I am REVOLUTION
I am EVOLVED
I am CONTENT
I am TRUE
Update with Chemo and Radiotherapy. I'm declining it.. Because it is my Choice.. So my post op mastectomy didn't go very well.. I had seizures into Anxiety attacks around Waitangi Day.. So over the duration of 3 days, ii had 32 Anxiety attacks.. Every time they did do tests all results were clear. Anyhu it was scary on 2 major occasions the first being when my body first started experiencing it.. And the 2nd time was when ii died in my Mums arms... When ii came back to life. My body and soul reconnected..
So due to this experience ii won't allow myself to go through the treatment. My tinana, wairua and my intuition are not allowing it. Therefore I am seeking a more natural resource. Starting with the mind, fueling my body with good foods and exercise and loving the life I am LIVING Its just adapting to my lifestyle changes. I also attend Legacy - Sisterhood, Empowerment and take my beautiful Tamariki to Destiny Church on Sunday..
I just want to give a lot of love to our beautiful Nanaz - Nana22 and Nana Turtle.. Blessings and Prayers of Abundance as you continue to strengthen and reap your rewards of manifestation..
Started the journey ano.. This time its for real. On Dec 24, yes on Xmas eve, while away on holiday at the Pawa Mansion, as ii was showering my beautiful self, hand to skin ii felt a lump on my left breast. I held this discovery to myself and never told no soul until the very next day. On Xmas day I revealed my hidden secret to my Mama. I also rang Man hUn wished him a Merry Xmas and stated that ii had some news and that he will know once we see each other face to face. On the 27th of Dec ii went with Man hUn to the docs and was referred to a breast specialist. On Jan 4th ii had a needle inserted into my breast to gather a sample, a mammogram and an ultra sound. These tests confirmed that I had a 3cm cancer cyst in my breast and 2cm in my lymph nodes. Yesterday ii had a major mastectomy operation. Removal of the left breast. The surgery was a great success and ii am now on the road to recovery. I restarted my quit and am one week and a half quit. Just want to say a massive kiaora to my supporters and ii send my aroha to the amazing whanau on quitblogz..
Celebrated my 21st + some extra moons last week.. Chose my bday as a new quit date.. So far all is great and stickin to it. Loving this time of year.. People seem to be more happier now that spring has arose, well ii know for one ii definitely am and have been waking up on the right side of my bed refreshed and ready for the possibilities of a brand new day.. Amazing how we may think that we are living each day to day the same when in actual fact within 24 hours the events and people we meet in our day are different experiences of that from yesterday compared to today. I'm happy ii can say Nope when offered a ciggy. I'm happy ii can say Nope when people ask mwah for a ciggy.. I absolutely love the reactions of peoples faces and the response when I say I have quit and don't smoke anymore. I'm happy my life isn't depended on a lighter. I distract myself with cleaning. Smoking is an addiction that is very time consuming. Our time is precious and is a gift of the present.
Quote of the Day - Life the life you love and Love the Life you Live..
It has been a very long time since I have set my feet in this comfortability ii call home in the quitblog world.. So my life spiraled after ii left my job and ii was offered drugs which became my new habit over the past 8 months. Something ii felt that ii depended on and needed, due to mwah enabling and providing and being the resource.
Everything has come to a standstill. My home, my goals, my life purpose. Even the voices of whanau speak and say - never thought she would as she was so against it and anti..
Never underestimate anyone because it does happen.. not only am ii in a drug abuse relationship with myself but ii also accepted violent abuse towards myself because ii lost all self respect... Aaaargh... and the amount of beep beep beep beep money ii wasted.. for my own selfishness.. OMG
So over the weekend, ii searched for answers, resolutions and results.
Conclusion... Giive it all up. Talk to whanau and friends who have succeeded and come out the other end. And log back onto quitline.
So here ii am... Empowering my self by taking this first step of acknowledgement to this journey of freedom and saying NO.. NOPE.. I deserve a whole lot more.. My whanau deserve more.. It's day Zero today... And Im feeling great....
10 positives I have gratitude for:
1. The beautiful home my whanau are living in
2. The beautiful bed that comforted my sleep
3. Sitting down and having breakfast with Mah hUn - we had baked beans on toast that I made
4. Listening to our kids opinions and hearing their laughter - Son bullied at kura yesterday and didnt want to go today. Phatty stated that if he was to get bullied today she will "smash" the kid that bullies her lil bro.
5. Watching hercules with kids before the morning rituals.
6. booking a FREE scan for Monday
7. Speaking to my Aunty about whare and whenua and arranging to meet with her on Saturday and taking kids to the farm
8. Taking Mah hUn to mahi
9. Reading quitline blogs from some great whanau members - yay Im back....
10. Being SMOKEFREE!!!!
quote of the day - Change is hard at first..Messy in the Middle..Gorgeous at the end - Robin Sharma
I have gone from an emotional smoker to a social smoker to a full packet a day regular smoker and some
I do have intentions to quit.. Im just not ready for it right now.
I believe that when my situation changes. This dis-ease will fade with it
Im in an ironic situation with all thats happening with life.
I want to see my whanau in Tokoroa and have my wairua cleansed in the Mighty Waikato
Well thats my check in and update..
Oo what a week... I walked into course on Monday and got my 2L down at VTNZ. On Weds 22/02/2017 12:00am ii quit smoking... Walked into course and normally at the first half hour ii would spark up with a couple of our colleagues... Not this time round.. Told them ii had quit and they were really supportive about it.. On Thurs 23/2/17 went for a drive on the truck.. I was nervous as hell in the beginning.. Then ii just fell in love.. Talk about having them eyes everywhere.. Absolutely love it. Had a hot guest speaker come and korero about ondemand logistics. Very informative...
On Thurs afternoon ii had to hikoi lileez to kura and then again on Friday... Dayum what would normally be a 5-10 min drive has turned into a 1hr and a1/2 hikoi... And we will be doing it for the next 28 days due to infringement notice... I actually love it also coz I'm spending more quality time with my babies and getting exercise out of it too.
Today we are still applying for a whare to rent.. Went for a viewing.. Beautiful home.. Put in my application so ii hope to hear from them on Monday...
Over the last couple of days I've been watching Matatini... Oo our culture is so amazing.. Teens have been practising hard out for Polyfest next month.. Exciting times to look forward to..
Whakatauki: Ahakoa he iti, he pounamu.... Although it is small, it's a treasure...
Reflection of my 3 days.. They are small.. Too mwah they are the most gifted as its the start if a wonderful journey... Kia kaha whanau...
The build up: Lost my phone, more like a friend that ii thought was a friend knows who has it or might even have it for herself. With my phone had my license and bank card. I reported and cancelled all items.. gutted as there had been activity on it 4 days after its dissappearance...
RIP Koro Toko Pompey - went to the service last night and met for the first time whanau of my Great Nan Te Wairemana.. it was just beautiful listening to the korero and the stories shared and connection of whakapapa and history of King Tawhiao and Princess Te Puea. So much waiata shared and the band including Dennis Marsh..
The last Puff: This morning before my shower.. NOPE and sticking it to for all the good reasons - my motto - Being a visionary leader living a healthy and wealthy lifestyle...
Water and mints to get mwah through this day
Been bizzy today enrolled on a 12 week course with AMS Group to do my Certificate in Road Transport.. Feeling ecstatic... Yay Day 1 is nearly over...
Why do ii have this urge ii want to drink? Why do ii have the thoughts of wanting to poison my beautiful self with toxins? Why do ii have those crazy urges?? I have been awake and getting minimal sleep...
I tell myself - This is my Fit Feb..Freedom Feb.. I meditate.. I have been NOPEing it majority of the day and ii know ii will get through this...
My Motto: One little step at a time..
I have come to the end of a great day.. I am still on 0 Days and have not had one puff.. Very proud of myself.. WoW now that this day is coming to a near end just wanted to say thank you to my gal Glamarous for all of her wonderful blessings.. I made the mission to my old mahi and gave them the bag of clothing you gifted and they were very thankful.. It was great to see my old bosses and work collegues..
Went to the Warewhare and scored myself a great deal from $25 to $6
Meet up with my gal Livy - dropped off six bags of clothing to charity scored a new burgundy dress and a white cardigan
Had a beautiful lunch out at Conifer - smoked salmon and silverbeet quiche, with an almond pecan muffin and a hot choko..
Had a great evening with my kids and their cousins tonight at Conifer Park and chilling by the beachfront talking with my gal, laughing and enjoying our Korero..
So as this day nears end Love, Light and Blessings
Motto: Precious moments last a lifetime
A brand new day and its really time ii kicked the habit... I am blogging for support and to ask for support.. Obviously running away or keeping away from this site does not help and assist in anyway... So here goes.. Today is a new day 2/2/17 ii will take the oath to NOPE.. Be a legendary leader to live a healthier and wealthier lifestyle..
My day yesterday was absolutely amazing. Started with a 5am hikoi, Enrolled my tamariki into Kura. Had a powhiri, karakia, whai korero, waiata, kapahaka, hariru and a hakari for all the new entrants, new tamariki and new staff.. Totally amazing and ii loved it..
Went out for a celebrational lunch for my ex's sisters, mother in law
Paid for lileez uniform $329.25 for 2
and stationary $154.00 for 2
Went for an evening hikoi with my sis Vaine and then ate briskcit and silverbeet that she made with aroha
Went to visit Glamorous Princess and dressed up in Louis Vuitton and Gucci. ate an M&M cookie and paid for my box of goodies for next week (raspberry white chocolate slice and caramel slice)
After School Activities for the lileez
Swimming Lessons for Wairua - Every Tuesday
Karate for Son - Every Thursday
Start my journey of being smokefree
Be a multimillionaire by winning lotto
Fina a whare for mwah and lileez
Attend Trustee Meetings for our Whanau Trust
Start my Adult Education Diploma in March
Quote: Every day is a new day and definitely worth living