Mar 3 2015

My own Mt Everest CONQUERED

Smokefree days: 365 days
Grams NOT smoked: 3650
Total savings: $5,124.00

This summit, for so many years, seemed impossible to reach, so much so that I firmly believed I was one of a handful of addicts for whom recovery was hopelessly unachievable.

I’d watched smoking destroy my Mother, robbing her of her health, then her life, at 58 years of age. This was such a huge loss for me, the grief over losing my best friend and soul mate was overwhelming. I felt angry that she had not tried harder to quit smoking, to be there for me, for my son, who had lost his loving, devoted Nan, and that my unborn baby would never get to meet her or know her huge capacity to love.

It was not long after the birth of my second son that I joined this blogging community – I was desperate, lost and felt so alone. I’d realised that it wasn’t a matter of “trying harder” to quit smoking. It was a battle of wills – and the addict in me was clearly in charge. Here I found solace, I wasn’t alone! Here I found inspiration, following the journeys and successes of others just like me. Here I received the most amazing, unwavering, non-judgemental support.

I don’t know how many attempts there were. How many times I fell and struggled to get back up. ALWAYS, my quit family stood by me, picked me up and dusted off my bum. Time and time again, year after year.

My quit family believed in me when I had lost all hope, you supported me through some terrifyingly dark days, you refused to give up on me even though I had given up on myself. I made friends here, cyber friends, but friends in the true sense of the word. I only wish I had friends like these out here in the real word – oh, what I could achieve!

Still, this milestone, these stats, is my biggest achievement ever (even tops delivering my second son, all by myself, at home, after an incredibly quick labour!). Mum’s passing and the emptiness that she left behind was the catalyst for me to keep trying but I could never have done it without you guys.

Now, I stand here absolutely bursting with pride, having planted MY flag in this new territory – no longer chained to smoking. I am FREE. I DID IT!!!

And believe me when I say, if I can do it, you can too! NEVER STOP BELIEVING!

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May 27 2016


What are people opinions on using vapour as an alternative to smoking ?
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Jul 22 2013

Stats Update 47 days smokefree

Smokefree days: 47 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 470
Total savings: $441.60

Doing okay....just been unwell with the 'flu which has attacked me quite severely this winter first-up; this is the first year I didn't get a 'flu shot so go figure. I can only imagine how rotten I would feel if I were still smoking....I shudder to think, I really do.

Well just a quick note to say hello and it's back to my sick-bed for me to try to get warm again.

I hope all my family are strong and well.

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Jul 26 2013

Today was a good day

Smokefree days: 50 days
Grams NOT smoked: 572
Total savings: $732.00

PHEW, there is just the one baby, 1cm long, in the right place, with a beating heart! But they took a week off me, I am only 6 weeks and 6 days. Ugh, that means I've just gained an extra week of feeling sick, boohoo. Now to look after my wee blueberry (that's about how big he/she is) to make sure everything stays well.

AND my new bed arrived today, hooray!
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Jan 15 2014


In the real world, I have no friends. There are four ladies that I have met through my children who I occasionally see for play dates and the likes, but no one close that I can confide in. I had two best friends, I married one and the other was my Mum, who was the person that I would always call upon on days like yesterday. When she passed away, my heart broke and I am still so totally lost without her.

But here, I have some truly amazing cyber friends and I am so glad that I turned to you all yesterday. Thanks to your heartfelt comments, the sharing of your own stories, my hope has returned and today I am feeling so much better about myself.

I cried all afternoon yesterday. Hubby got home and seemed so angry with me, I moped and kept to myself but when I went to bed (at the very late hour of 8:30!) he came in and apologised, said he had not handled my phone call well but wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say. I told him I had just wanted some support, to be told that I was not a complete failure. Thank goodness he doesn’t think I am useless and he believes in me.

Yes, I have issues. I’ve been struggling with depression since my Mum passed away and am trying really hard to put into practice all the tools my counsellor has given me. I am trying to make so many personal changes all at once and I get really down on myself when none of it works. I guess I do need the happy pills but I don’t want to take them while pregnant so am trying to manage the best I can. In all honesty, I have to admit that I really have come a long way and I do need to cut myself some slack because I AM getting there, just not at the speed I want!

I desperately want to quit smoking, it is not something I am trying to force because the desire is there and I certainly felt ready to embark on this journey on Monday. I can’t understand how I can want something so badly and yet sabotage my efforts every time. I guess I still have a lot of learning to do?

I am overwhelmed by the support I received from you all yesterday. A fresh rush of tears overcame me this morning as I read all your comments. I can’t say enough how appreciative I am that so many of you took the time to read my sorry outpouring and to then reply. THANK YOU seems too small a statement, but it comes from the bottom of my heart and with the utmost gratitude.

As stubborn as the mule I believed I was, I have reset my date again. And if I have to, I’ll damn well reset it again and again and again, until I finally conquer this demon. This is thanks to you guys, for I doubt I would ever have had the courage or self-belief or found the strength to keep going without all of your support.

Thank you for being there for me, for understanding, for not judging and for caring.

All my love,
H ♥
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Jul 22 2015

Stats Update 365 DAYS SMOKEFREE

Smokefree Days: 365
Cigarettes NOT Smoked: 7300
Total Savings: $6789.00

Oh wow! This is a very emotional day for me.After 45 years of smoking i have made 1 whole year smokefree! I did it! I have reached the top of my Smokefree Mountain, and i have to say - the view is breathtaking. The air is so crisp and clean. It is amazing, and i'm very proud and so, so, happy to have reached this milestone!
What a journey this has been. There have been many times during this past year that i didn't think i would make it. Depression, family dramas, and sometimes the utter hopelessness i felt - made it all feel too hard. I thought "what's the point? I feel so bad, and life is too short to feel this miserable". Today, i know it is so worth it. I discovered a strength in me, that i didn't know i had. Life IS too short - and for me it would be a lot shorter if i didn't quit. What got me through was the epic support right here on this site. Support from strangers - many of whom i now think of as friends. That, and just holding tight. Doing nothing but not smoking. The one slip up i had, didn't make me feel any better - only worse -so i used it to reaffirm how much i wanted to quit for good. It was tough - but now i absolutely love my smokefree life. I don't think i'll ever lose the joy of being smokefree.
I have been smiling like a mad smiley thing all morning and i can't see it stopping any time soon.
Thank you so much to all of you awesome people for helping me make it to the top of the mountain. I couldn't have done it without you.

To all our newbies.... Every one of you can reach the top of Smokefree Mountain. It will be tough. Maybe one of the toughest things you'll ever do. But please do it! Keep climbing no matter what. There is a whole new way of living waiting further up - and it will astound you! You will love it! You have to fight, and keep fighting until you think you can't fight anymore. Then you fight a bit more. You can do it. I promise you the day will come when it's no longer a struggle - and the rewards of all your hard work will settle upon you - and amaze you. No words of mine can tell you how good it feels. You need to experience it for yourself. And YOU CAN!

To finish...thank you so much, you very special people. I am stoked to be sharing this celebration with you all.
Chocolate, cake, icecream and bubbles all round!

Have a great smokefree day, and remember :

We are all fabulous and strong.
Stay quitsafe.
Love and hugs to all.

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Apr 15 2013

I stuffed it up AGAIN

Gosh I’ve written blogs like this so many times but this is by far the hardest one. I wish I could just stick my head in the sand and pretend everything’s okay but I can’t. I didn’t want to blog this but I have to, I owe it to my friends. I can’t just disappear and leave everyone wondering.

I need to say that I am so sorry for letting everyone down, not just my children, my husband, myself, but also my treasured quit family who mean so much to me and have supported me through thick and thin. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this, what I have done disgusts me.

In an effort to refrain from name-calling, I have no excuse. I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m sad. I’ve just had enough of this thing called life. How long before I stop crying that I just want my Mum?

No, smoking hasn’t changed a thing. It just served to reinforce everything I thought I’d already learned. I suppose that has to count for something, with any luck this will be the last time I take this lesson.

Anyway, clearly my quit plan needs refining. I’m not a fighter and I need to be. I need to fight to stay smokefree. I have to stop giving up when life gets too hard.

As punishment for my foolhardiness, I have confiscated all of my smokefree treats and am about to remove my chipped nail polish. I know I will be back on the wagon soon but probably not so publicly, I’m tired of embarrassing myself by announcing I’ve cracked it, only to have to later slink away ashamed.

Please everyone, stay strong. While I’m a terrible example, I’m still supporting you all, all the way.

All my love,
H ♥
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Apr 17 2017

Stats Update 1000 Days

Smokefree Days: 1000
Cigarettes NOT Smoked: 20,000
Total Savings: $18,600.00

If you see some silly tart dancing on the rooftops in a nannery kind of way's me!
1000 days smokefree is something i didn't dare even think about when i started. My goal was 1 day smokefree - and every day that followed, i aimed to do it again.
Some believe you have to want to quit for yourself to succeed. To be honest my main reason for quitting was for my beautiful grandkids.I didn't think much of myself at all at that stage after so many previous attempts to quit. I felt weak and pathetic.
The grandies had reached the age when it was becoming more difficult to hide myself away to smoke......and i never wanted them to think that smoking was okay.......if nana does it - it can't be bad.
So i had a choice to make - either quit, or spend less time with them. I chose to quit.
It was only as time went by that i began to place value on my life, and to want smokefreedom for myself. Today i am so happy to have chosen that path.
It doesn't matter what reason you have for quitting, Each and every one is valid.
In the early weeks i was quite certain i'd never be happy again - but time is a wonderful thing, and i am so happy and proud to be smokefree after 45 years of addiction.
I love that i now have confidence and self belief.
I love that i now have a strength inside i didn't know was there.
I love knowing that no matter what life throws my way....i can and will handle it. I may not always like it - but i can and will get through it.
Quitting smoking is so much more than just not smoking. It really is a journey of self discovery and personal growth.
Quitting is one of the toughest things iv'e ever done...but it's also one of the things i'm most proud of. Every tough day has totally been worth it.
I owe so much to so many people here on this site who believed in me when i couldn't believe in myself.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. And to my grandies for giving me the reason to try.

That's my blather on this special day. New goal.....3 years smokefree.

Give it time everyone - and remember:
We are all fabulous and strong,
Stay quitsafe,
Love & hugs to all.
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Sep 28 2014

Stats Update 1488 days smokefree

Smokefree days: 1488 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 14880
Total savings: $8,184.00

Today is my birthday. I have reached that grand old age of 70.
Four years and 28 days ago I was in hospital feeling very sorry for myself. I had just had surgery (relatively minor) but had almost come unstuck because I failed to breathe properly in recovery. I remember the frightened looks on the faces of my daughters and the lecture I received about giving up smoking from the surgeon and deciding maybe I really should try to stop. I was scared – afraid that I would fail and make a complete fool of myself. I was already feeling bad because I knew that my 49 years of heavy smoking was the main reason I had breathing problems and I thought that if I failed I would never live it down. Also, I didn’t really want to stop my habit and abandon my “friend” of 49 years. Fortunately common sense prevailed and I decided to try. I promised myself I would never smoke again. I told no one, just got on with it.
I decided to talk to Quitline on my 12th day, just to get re-assurance if nothing else. They were amazing. I will never forget feeling at ease and being able to express my thoughts to someone who was non judgmental and willing to listen to my silly excuses for wanting to remain a smoker.
I read some of the blogs and quickly realized I was not the only person who felt the way I did. This gave me the confidence to continue my smokefree quest.
At first every day was a milestone. I would look forward to bedtime so that I could put a line through another smokefree day. I remember completing my first smokefree month and thinking I would never get to 2 months. It took a long time for me to stop wanting a cigarette, but one day it dawned on me that I had gone several days without giving smokes a thought. That was a day for celebration. Then I started to go out and meet friends and it was so nice not to have to seek an opportunity to sneak off to have a puff.
The first smokefree year was exciting, then came the second and third and on the 1st September my fourth smokefree breathday. I still occasionally have a fleeting thought that a cigarette would be “nice”, but I do not for one minute regret my decision to quit.
I have made so many friends through Quitline. It is like a big family.
I feel for each “Newbie” who struggles over the first few days and weeks. I want to reach out and do it for them, but this is a battle that must be fought alone. I love to hear news of those who were new when I joined and I really enjoy hearing from those who were “old hands” when I joined. I was so in awe of them.
I may not have a bigger bank balance than 4 years ago, but my discretional spending has improved greatly. I can afford little luxuries when I feel like them.
I certainly have a bigger waistline, but I am slowly coming to terms with that. I bought new clothes and try to exercise as much as my COPD will allow.
Although my health is not perfect I feel I can look forward to living long enough to enjoy any great grand children that will happen now that my grandchildren are adult.
Life is so good now that I am SMOKEFREE and I will never go back on my promise to myself.
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Aug 9 2015

Stats Update 100 days smokefree

Smokefree days: 100 days
Grams NOT smoked: 858
Total savings: $1,278.00

Well good morning quit family.
Yes the day has come the hundy club. Sister SFM can take her feet off my chair now lol. Flower you need to be at the party by 1pm. And you got me a prezzie what u get me lol and bike repair kit will be handy.
100 days ago i made the choice to stop smoking i didnt think i could really do it but gave it a go. I joined the blogs and the support i got from everyone here has helped i my success. So i will forward on the support to the next lot of people coming through. So i will be cooki g eggs today so put your orders in if you want some. It goi g to be an awesome party today dont be late hope to see you all there
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