I have to blog for study. It's a reflective practice, so I may as well apply that thinking here.
My smoking journey is long. I grew up with smokers. I was anti smoking for a few years in my youth, stabbing holes in my parents durries and replacing their ciggies with ones that went pop. It was fun, but got me in heaps of trouble.
I came out when I was 16, and my then boyfriend smoked. Back then, everyone smoked, so I started.
I'm 45 now.
Ciggies went from about 2.75 to 37.90 over the last 29 years. At least someone is making money out of it.
I've tried to quit 5+ times, and always failed.
2 years ago I got a vape. It worked for about a month. And when I'm out of ciggies, I'll hit it.
I've gotten so desperate I'll even reroll from the ashtray. What a shameful thing to admit.
This time, it's a raft of things that are directing me to give up.
Money is the main thing. It's crazy spenny, and with every drag I take there is an element of guilt.
Smell is another thing. I don't want to stink. But I do.
I'm hoping this time, it will work.
I live with my partner and his mum. She gave up a year ago, which is inspirational.
When I started the masters I'm doing, I got champax, I was on it a month, but the dreams I was having drove me crazy. I even got sleeping pills to try and get through the night. It was horrid.
I'm going to try and do it with whatever support I can muster.
I've set my quit day for the 29th Feb...a day that usually doesn't exist.
Fingers crossed huh?

Please login or register to leave a comment on this post.

Comments

  • avatar-icon
    Blondene said:
    13 February 2020

    Hi Jem..an auspicious day to start your quit...brilliant...remember the tools you will need the help of using the 4Ds...practice them and following the NOPE Not One Puff Rule..if you follow this rule you won't fail 😊💪 NOPE

  • avatar-icon
    clarence the cat said:
    13 February 2020

    Brilliant Jem.
    You have the ability to concentrate on a goal, as you are doing for your Masters, so extend it a bit more to include your SMOKEFREE objective..
    You can do this.
    ODAAT