This is the first time I’ve written a blog. Reading everyone’s blogs has really helped me in the past to give up please don’t stop posting it helps so many people. I Really do have to give up. Health is turning to rubbish and doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong after a year of trying. I’ve tried a few times to give up smoking and have gone quite awhile without but i had a very hard year last year with heaps of bad luck like unbelievable luck and felt sorry for myself so started again but my health isn’t getting better and I’m not even 30 yet. I’m ready to do this. I’m using a vape to help. No smoking today and no cravings i just ate the house down hah. Hope everyone is doing well with the no smoking.
Well today went faster than other days so far. Made sure I started the day with a coffee then a walk around the block. Definately feeling like I can do this now. Have had a few deep breathing moments but the urge passed quicker today which is a bonus. It is nice that my clothes and hair don't smell anymore and giving my kids a hug doesn't mean I'm making them hold their breath. You don't realize how much the smoke smell lingers until you aren't smoking and you are near someone who does. I apologise to my kids now for the years of nasal attack I have given them when all they wanted was comfort. Time to move inwards and upward.
Me using this place to voice my day makes me accountable of my actions and thanks everyone for the encouraging words so far
It is appreciated 😊. I'm not going to stop blogging for awhile as I find it helpful at the end of the day to do. Keeps me on the right track.
Anyway been enjoying smoke free hugs with the kids is my highlight today.
Well I have achieved another day. Today I also finished cleaning the spare room wardrobe and room of 3 years of junk. I felt like I had done an unimaginable job. So as you do when you complete something epic i grabbed a drink from the fridge and say outside in the sun to bask in my success. My husband was outside doing the lawns and came and say beside me. Something we always do is sit outside in the afternoon and have a drink and a smoke. He was talking to me and rolling a smoke and I watched him out the corner of my eye. I was enjoying the sun and my drink and then he lit his smoke. Here is where I had to make a huge decision ..... He was still talking to me. So I did it... I just stood up walked inside and shut the door behind me and went and sat on the couch to finish my drink. Omg deep breaths. Very deep breaths. He came inside when he had finished his smoke and the smell followed him. I just looked at him and said I just can't be around you when your smoking at the moment. Then he asked how many days it was for me so far so I told him today will be day 5. He was surprised as to how long it has been already and just said ok. I surprised myself today by being able to just walk away like I did albeit very difficult with the voices screaming inside my head craving smokes. I just need to keep reminding myself to be strong and keep calm. Will have to find a different sunny place next time I want to celebrate any success. On the plus side no shakes or headache today.
Well I had a better day without shakes but I did end up getting a headache tonight. My teenage boys are my biggest supporters at the moment and I'm doing it for them. I want to still be here for them when they are older. Still having cravings but they are getting easier to distract myself as I achieve another day. One day at a time.
Well getting through today by keeping busy. Went for walk. Done some baking for the kids. Cleaning out wardrobe in spare room. So far so good. I know I can do this i just have to stay strong. Using patches and gum my sleep was not too great last night.
I’ve finally decided this is enough! I’m unsure of my timing though as out of all the time I had to do this.... I’ve chosen now while my partner is in the middle of a lockdown with me!!!!!! I fear for him.... will he survive the angry tantrums I may have? Will I have angry tantrums? I don’t know what to expect & wether I will be able to control my moods or not.... BUT it is NEVER the right time... I could make a different excuse 365 times that it’s not the right time. And my partner REALLY wants me to quit so he is 100% supportive. I hope he survives this with me 😬 maybe I will be just fine and dandy & think F**K why didn’t I do this years ago! It’s easy! 😒 I doubt it 😔 please wish him luck....
Remember 2012? Besty mate, shouting Me an international holiday? That same Besty mate, that inspired, then encouraged my Quit...was last weekend committed to a Dementia unit under the Mental health act. She had become vulnerable.
I am her 'next of kin' &
Covid 19 means I cannot visit...
& She doesn't understand-any of it...
nana t is a little sad, right now...😢
not smoking, tho 👍