Its been 1 month free from smoking, free from the bondage smoking had over me, planning my next ciggi, where I would sit, would I drink coffee or tea, should I have my ciggi before my meal or after, or perhaps both. Should I have one as Im driving up the road to my destination, 5-10 mins away, and one when I get there, and another on the way back. I have that phone call to make so another coffee, my favorite seat and ciggi made that conversation even better. So much planning went in to my next cigarette.
Not only the planning, but my cigarettes were my best friend ever, they were with me on my happiest days, saddest days, angry moments, stressful moments, bored moments, my friend comforted me in some of my biggest life moments, I knew there would come a day where I had to say goodbye to who I thought was my friend, that was a month ago now, and I'm glad.
At first I missed my friend, it felt as if there was a little bit of grief and loss, that was ok, I knew I could work through that, after all, my friend was not all that good for me. With my friend came frequent headaches, coughing spasms, panic if my friend was not close by, plus my friend was expensive, I would get sick in winter, and more often than not, we were isolated because no one wanted to be around us, we would have to sneak around in social gatherings to catch up, we smelt and at times were frowned upon. My friend took my money, made me sick, and at times isolated me, "SOME FRIEND" but we stuck together no mater what.
1 month ago I made the decision that I needed better friends in my life, ones that cared about me, I read good books, I walk without losing my breath, I eat healthier foods, I treat myself to something nice, I feel empowered mentally, my skin is grateful, I feel happier, and I don't smell yucky.
I still miss my old friend at times, but never want to be involved again. This is just an analogy of my thoughts on smoking, I hope you are all doing well in Blog land, thankyou for sharing your positives, thoughts, tips etc that have encouraged me and continue to encourage me on my journey. Ill be forever grateful.
I think Ive made it through the worst, no more headaches, starting to breathe easier and enjoying taking deep breaths, less wheezing and no smoke smell on me "yay" still have moments in the day where i want to have a smoke but take water and suck lozenges, also went out to a gathering on Saturday with plenty of smokers around me, ooh it smelt nice, but not tempting enough to have one.